Bojack Horseman and the Gospel

There's a show on Netflix right now called Bojack Horseman. It is set in a version of Hollywood much like our own, but with both people and bipedal, intelligent animals. The show follows a horse (voiced by Will Arnett) who was the star of an extremely popular '90s family sitcom but has since had a particular lack of success. It begins its life billed as a comedy. Sounds weird, right?

Bojack Horseman is the best show I have seen since Breaking Bad. This means it is the second-best show I have ever seen. Not for its comedy - for its hard-hitting, no-holds-barred critique on human existence.

(Only two seasons have been released and it is both possible and likely that the show will soon move toward a more redemptive arc. I'm speaking only on what I have seen.)

As I said, Bojack Horseman starts as a fairly straightforward Futurama or Family Guy-style animated comedy with an interesting premise. Bojack, the titular main character, is attempting to regain his glory days of fame by hiring a ghost writer (Diane) to write a book about him. Around halfway through the first season, though, the show begins to turn. it evolves into a deep, deep character study on Bojack himself. We see behind who he is - a character that begins as a selfish, self-absorbed narcissist, the likes of which we have seen portrayed on television hundreds of times, begins to betray what lies behind his exterior. Bojack is chronically unhappy, begging (both implicitly and explicitly) for someone, anyone, to prove to him he is worthwhile - to validate him. Throughout both seasons he is constantly seeking validation from other people. We see him seeking it from his mother as a child in flashbacks, from Diane in spending time with her as she is writing his book, from his agent, the director of a movie he stars in, an old friend he crosses state lines to see after 30 years - the list goes on and on. And herein lies the brilliance of Bojack Horseman.

Other people are incapable of providing that validation. They can't. In one of the final episodes of the first season Bojack literally begs Diane to tell him he is a good person and she can't. This scene is the tip of the iceberg. The first season finale ends with a brilliant scene:

Bojack: "I really wanted you to like me, Diane."

Diane: "I know."

No further discussion. It's the hardest-hitting example at this point on the show that Bojack cannot have the validation he so craves. But perhaps it is because he is such a terrible person, so self-absorbed that he can't. The show provides other examples.

Diane receives validation from her husband, Mr. Peanut Butter (a dog character - I know, bear with me), but she still feels empty because she doesn't seek validation from others for who she is but what she does. She is incapable of living up to her own expectations and no one can validate the person she wants to be.

Bojack's agent, Princess Carolyn (a cat, again, I know, these names are crazy), seeks validation from a number of coworkers and friends, culminating in a brief instant where she feels she has it from a coworker, only to have it snatched away by his own selfishness.

Bojack seems to be aware of his own faults, and pushes the two people who validate him (Mr. Peanut Butter and his roommate, Todd) away continuously. He doesn't like their personalities, but at the end of the day, he really feels they are better than him and thus can't accept their praise. Bojack needs someone to praise him from beneath him, even if he won't admit it. These two characters, by the way, are the only remotely happy ones on the show. It's only coincidental that they are the comic relief, the jokes that take us out of the blinding, gritty truth of the show. Todd and Mr. Peanut Butter, at the core of them, have realized and accepted that people cannot validate them. They see the flaws in people and themselves, but unlike the other characters, they move forward with them, in the belief that life is imperfect and it is what you make of it. A beautiful scene occurs late in the second season when Mr. Peanut Butter has the opportunity to be (absolutely justifiably) angry with Diane. But he forgives her. He has established earlier that he knows her flaws and her seeking validation and he still loves her. He moves on without a second thought. Todd, in a similar fashion, forgives Bojack and constantly sees the good in him.

Bojack Horseman is so, so brilliant because is isn't afraid to tell the truth about being human. We want other people to validate us, to tell us we are good, we've done well, that we are okay. The thing is, they can't. Whether it's because they are too caught up in their own lives to give thought to others (like Bojack) or because they can't speak to you the way you want to be spoken to (like Diane), people can't give other people what they want. Even when praise is received, it's fleeting and never fits the bill like we imagined.

I don't want to spoil too much, but Bojack is a destructive force, especially in the second season. His quest for significance knows no bounds. And this is where I stake my claim that the show is the best show I've seen since Breaking Bad. The two shows are similar in a few ways, but mainly this: the main character in each is desperately seeking something to prove his worth to himself and his seeking of this destroys himself and everyone around him. Bojack might be a little easier to relate to, I think. As much as we might struggle with ego, I don't think many of us can imagine becoming a meth kingpin like Walter White. But we can all related to asking someone to tell us things about ourselves to quiet that voice within us that tells us we aren't good enough. How many of us have complimented a friend or significant other in an attempt to get them to compliment us back? How many of us have pursued a long-lost friendship or relationship beyond the point of logical continuation because of the feelings it once gave us (or we imagined it gave us)?

Watching Bojack Horseman as a Christian, I see it only gives half of the story. It's the razing of the stronghold, the demolition of the old foundation, the breaking apart of the hard, lifeless seed. We can't give each other what we want. The best marriage can't make the people within it feel ok with themselves in the deepest parts of their souls. Even the redeemable characters I mentioned in Bojack Horseman, even the ones that accept the ineptitude of those around them, do it with a tangible, if not overwhelming, sadness, as if they are inwardly asking: "Is this really it?" They do a good job convincing themselves that it is and that's ok, but the question remains for another time. Bojack Horseman lays bare an ugly truth about people and asks openly: "Is this it?"

No. No, not in a million years is this it.

Bojack Horseman points to the need for the Gospel in our lives better than anything I have seen in recent memory. It proves our inadequacies as people in areas only Christ can reach into and speak to. We can't validate ourselves - Christ can. We can't speak to ourselves how we want or need to be spoken to - Christ can. We can't see ourselves as worthy of the love we receive: Christ can. And He does. Every. Single. Day.

See, we're all Bojack Horseman. We're all in this looking for the thing or the person we think will satisfy us, will prove to the world and ourselves that we are good enough. But that thing, that person, does not exist on this earth where we are looking for it. We must turn our gaze upward, break down the strongholds, and realize that God sent His Son into the midst of the ugly truth to provide a beautiful truth.

We can't validate ourselves.

Christ can validate us. He is the only One who can.

"But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God." - 1 Corinthians 4:3-5

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” - Matthew 11:28-30

Threads of Significance

I want to get back to blogging. I'm making that my new goal, regardless of page views or interest or anything.

What I'm noticing more and more in my life is as I engage with culture more, with what we as a people and society love and do and engage in, I see important tidbits here and there, pointing to some fragment of truth. Sometimes it's a reflection of how broken we are as people. Sometimes it's a deep piece of longing for the Gospel and for our salvation. But deep, deep in our culture, in our superhero movies, in our books, in our comics and news and conversations, are these fragments. I like to think of them as threads of significance.

I think it's crucial for us as people to understand our culture so we know how to pull these threads. This is what I am retooling this blog for. Bojack Horseman, Batman v Superman, Jurassic World, so many others - where are we in the story? Where is the Gospel? How can we understand these threads of significance so we can pull them in people's lives to guide them toward the full, complete truth?

I'm headed down this path, and I invite anyone interested to join me.

The Usefulness of Sin

I hate articles with "click bait" titles - that is, titles that seem to say something controversial to get you to read the article but, when you read them, don't actually rock the boat too much. That being said, I'm using something of a "click bait" title with this post - but I'm sure you can imagine where I'm headed with this.

I am a sinful human being. I struggle with a number of sins, some more habitual than others. I make time to get in the Word, I pray a lot, I get friends to come around me and hold me accountable, and yet, I still sin. As any of you who live the Christian life know, the worst part of sin is the rush of clarity immediately after you realize you have sinned - that mix of guilt, frustration, and anger at yourself. Immediately after that comes the planning - this is how I will stop sinning. We think, if only I can do this or that or this other thing more (or less), if only I read the Bible more or talk to more people about it or change this routine or stay off the Internet more...the list goes on and on. And no matter how much we change things, no matter how many times we go through this process, we still sin again. It might take us longer, it might look different, but it happens. And each time we become more and more despondent.

2015 has, so far, been a year of transitions for me. Relationally, academically, professionally, you name it, it's changing. It has been a struggle, and I know it will continue to be. Sin is always present in the struggle, presenting itself like an old friend in the midst of uncertain circumstances. It's a lie, and I know that, but many times we as people convince ourselves that we can believe the lie, even just for a little bit, because it gives us a feeling that we might be able to control where we are a little bit. I know I have fallen prey to that many times so far. But in the midst of the guilt, the fear, and the frustration of sin, I've realized something. God has brought me to this realization before, and I'm sure He will again, but each time it's like a refreshing breeze, filled with understanding.

Sin is useful.

To be more accurate, the lesson sin can teach us is useful. Sin is what is wrong with this world, it brings nothing but ruin and death, and should be fought every moment of every day. When we sin, though, we are reminded of three crucial , crucial truths:

1. Our inherent nature is sinful, just like everyone else's.

2. We NEED Jesus.

3. We should be so unbelievably, immensely thankful for what Jesus has done in our lives and what He does every day.

Our sinfulness reminds us that we are sinful by nature. It connects us to the world, to humanity, to other people, Christian and non-Christian. Our sinfulness reminds of of how badly we need to be saved. And we have been saved! It should remind us to be thankful for that salvation, and give us a passion to tell others about Jesus and how He can do in their lives what He has done in ours.

"Therefore, as one trespass led to condemnation for all men, so one act of righteousness leads to justification and life for all men. For as by the one man's disobedience the many were made sinners, so by the one man's obedience the many will be made righteous. Now the law came in to increase the trespass, but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, so that, as sin reigned in death, grace also might reign through righteousness leading to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." (Romans 5:18-21 ESV)

Sin must be fought without compromise. Paul says this much in the verses immediately following this passage. But our sins should not drive us to seek our own solutions. They should drive us that much further into the arms of Christ.

Upon the Water: Peter's Faith

And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, “It is a ghost!” and they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.” And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” (Matthew 14:25-31 ESV)

There are a few Bible narratives that always strike me to the core, no matter how many times I've read them. This is one of them, This is a story we have all heard a hundred times. Every time I heard it preached or discussed, it was always framed in terms of Jesus's perfection, Peter's failure, and Jesus saving Peter. The scolding tone Jesus seems to give Peter at the end is the note these tellings typically ended on. I think this does a disservice to the text and what we can learn from it.

Yes, Peter fails at the end and nearly sinks into the water. But let's back up. The disciples are all out on a boat in windy weather when Jesus walks on the water to meet them. After a moment of fear (which I think any of us would have in the same situation), they realize it is Jesus. They see and believe this "ghost" is Jesus. But one of the Twelve goes one step further. He asks Jesus to call him out to the water. He believes not only that Jesus is there, but he has faith in Jesus's power to allow him to do the exact thing Jesus is doing. Yes, he sees the wind and gets scared, yes Jesus must save him, yes he gets a small lecture at the end. We as Christians are generally completely content to stop the story with the lesson that Peter should have had more faith. But here's an interesting thought.

Peter had more faith than you or I have at most, if not all, times in our lives.

You see, all twelve disciples saw Jesus and believed it was Him. They were offered concrete proof through experience and incorporated it into their lives. But one of them wasn't satisfied with that. One of them had the faith to ask for the power to act and walk (literally!) just as Christ was walking. He asked for the power to do what God Himself was doing and he believed he would receive it. And he did. Peter's walk upon the water is not about his failure, as we all will fail as sinful, fallen human beings. It was about his faith and willingness to step out of the boat in the first place. Most of the time, we are the other eleven disciples - people who have had Jesus come and meet them in powerful ways but are content to take that experience and stay in the comfort of our own lives, incorporating Jesus into them where He might fit. Peter, though, stepped out of that comfort in the power of faith. The experience the disciples had affected Peter in a different way than the other eleven: he was no longer content to simply remain in the comfort of his current state, so he asked and trusted Jesus to call him out of it in the power of God. Peter's failure is not the only thing we should take away from this story; we should learn from the way he responded to Jesus.

Shouldn't we all want to be a little more like Peter?

Walking Like Jesus

I believe we struggle to line Jesus up with what we do. We try to boil down Christ and Scripture into small phrases and concepts that we can fit into our lives and day-to-day activities. We make time to have a couple of Christian songs in our music playlists on our drive into school, to read a verse or two before the ever-present hand of time dictates we move to another activity, and try to recall His sayings when we are angry or scared or stressed.

This is wrong.

I'm not saying it is wrong in and of itself. It's a decent start. However, it betrays our attitude toward Christ; an attitude that He is a nice, even a great, section of life that helps us be better people, but that we also have other things in our lives we need to plan around. I personally have spent years being an apologist or even an advocate for this lifestyle - one in which we do not have to pick between Jesus and the things that distract us from Him, as long as the Bible doesn't specifically condemn them. No mention, no problem, right? Netflix, video games, Reddit, the Internet, and a million other things - as long as they aren't sexual or crude we can use them in moderation, right? I have said yes to this all of my life.

What we are missing by saying yes to this lifestyle is what the Bible, what Jesus intended for us to do with His Word, His life, His ministry that we have been so graciously given. It's not meant to be one thing in our lives:

1 John 2:5b-6: "By this we may know that we are in him: whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked."

This statement has rekindled a passion within me to study the life of Jesus and how He lived. Notice how it doesn't say we should walk "like He walked" or "try to walk like He walked," it says we should simply do it. And you know something that I keep realizing as a read about Christ and the way He walked? He was permanently, eternally, unquestionably living in the knowledge of both His mission (Matthew 3:15-17) and the swift coming of the Kingdom of God (Matthew 4:17). We don't know what Jesus did on His off days, but I get the feeling that He didn't lounge around or waste time (certainly, He rested, but He rested with meaning and purpose, not just to mindlessly shut down and laze about). Every moment of Jesus's life we know about is lived with these two things in mind, and I can't imagine any moment of His life we don't know about was any different. And we are called to live just like this!

I want to challenge you and myself. Let's live with purpose like this. Let's work with purpose, rest with purpose, engage with others with purpose. And let's put away all those things that distract from that purpose. For me, when I watch TV or play a video game, if it isn't with other people, being used as a tool to maintain a relationship or encourage fellowship, I find myself drained afterward. It serves no purpose but distraction. This is the thing I am being convicted to weed out of my life so I might walk with the purpose with which Christ walked. It will be a long journey, but I have faith that it will be fulfilling and rewarding in ways I cannot even imagine right now. I challenge all those reading this to pray for God to reveal those things that distract you from walking with Christ's purpose. They will surely be different for each and every one of us, but I am convinced one thing will remain the same for all: the freedom and reward that will come.

Our Bodies and the Resurrection

It's been a while, so I'll jump right into it.

You know what we ignore so often? Our own immortality as followers of Christ. Yes, we know we will be with Him forever, and that gives us happiness and joy, but I don't think we let it flow through us to the degree it should.

Brian Wardach, one of my best friends, recently made a half-joking observation that he could not wait for the resurrection and the new, perfect bodies we will inhabit and enjoy there, due to problems he sees with his earthly one. I'd like to add my voice to that chorus and admit some things in a very public forum.

I don't like my body. It's for a very poor reason; 95% of it is fairly good, if you ignore the paleness of my skin and tendency to burn (I do). It's not a bad body at all. But that 5% is my greatest struggle in life - acne. Now, before anyone jumps up to tell me anything, I am not looking for, - and most certainly do not want - people to comment on this. I seek no compliments or positive reinforcement. I am fully aware of the minor nature of this problem, especially for me. And yet, as infinitesimal as it is, it claims a significant portion of my thinking and worrying time. A new zit, any time, in any form, and I become immensely frustrated. Disproportionately so. It causes me to take vitamins, to avoid certain foods and drinks, and to, in some cases, seek warmer lighting. This is difficult for me to admit, especially because I know this post will go to Facebook and Twitter as soon as I publish it and, as a man, I am not supposed to be this vain, this concerned with physical appearance. In spite of this, I write this not as a confession; but as a signpost.

The time I, Brian, and countless others (probably the whole human race, if we are honest) spend worried and frustrated about our temporal bodies betrays something far deeper than vanity. It betrays a deep-seated mistrust of God Himself and His promises to us. It means we don't believe we will be perfected, resurrected with new, perfect, glorified bodies like Christ (1 Corinthians 15:40-44). It means we don't believe we will rest in God and His power and glory in eternity (Revelation 14:13). It means we would rather focus on now and its imperfections more than the perfection of the new heavens and new earth - our eternal home. It means we are so caught up in ourselves and what we perceive to be wrong, and believe those problems to be so impossible to correct, that we do not believe God can fix them.

I know my imperfections have been a thorn in the flesh, a guiding light to lead me continuously and constantly to Christ (2 Corinthians 12:7-10). I believe all of our problems, all of the imperfections and terrible circumstances in our lives exist so that we might receive more of Christ than we could otherwise. In my thoughts, I echo Paul - when I am weakest, He is strongest and shines through me brightest.

I thank God for my imperfections and struggles, because they remind me of two things - He is God and I am not, and He will one day renew all things, perfect all things, and bring all things to their best state. Maybe this means all my physical imperfections will be gone. Maybe this means they will remain, but I will see them as the perfect reminder of Christ in my life that they are. Either way, I praise God for His sovereignty over the good and bad of my life, the flowers and thorns. I praise Him because all roads for me, whether in happiness or frustration, lead to flourishing in Him.

Noah

God and Global Security

I'm taking a bit of a detour for this post.

I study international security in my pursuit of a master's degree in international affairs at GA Tech. I have struggled at times with determining how this can further the Kingdom, so much so that I jumped between different areas of study before I settled on this one. Of course, the typical response is "well, you can witness anywhere, in any workplace, and be a light for those who don't know Jesus there." This is completely true, but it's not enough for me. I want to know how my chosen area of study, my chosen career path, can contribute directly to a better world, to the Kingdom of God. I want to know how I can frame what I do in an eternal context.

As I said, I study international security, with a strong focus on how energy affects that security and relationships between nations. I have thought and prayed about how this is beneficial, and I realized the ultimate framework goes something like this.

As Christians, we are meant to influence culture, to work in the ministry of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18), and to follow the example of Christ in engaging the world in order to alter it through servanthood and love. The way I frame what I do in an eternal context is I think about the end goal. For example, I recently wrote a paper on the potential for U.S.-China military cooperation in the Persian Gulf. Why? Why this topic? Why would it be effective? My answer: because I believe, if this strategy that I spent my paper articulating is implemented, it could reduce U.S.-China tensions, creating a more stable and peaceful world.

Isn't that influencing the world in an eternal way? Isn't that influencing people and nations and culture? This is how I know look at all I write, all I study in my degree, all I seek to pursue afterward.

How can what I'm doing in international security help to create a more stable and peaceful world?